My friend Brad recently posted a truly horrific album cover on his Facebook page, inspiring me to create this list of the top (or bottom) ten. I found many similar lists online, none of which contained all of my examples. To finalize a list of ten, I ruled out a few categories of covers that appear on many other lists.
OBSCURITIES: With one exception, I ruled out covers by truly obscure artists. They tend to be awful for a variety of reasons (low budgets being the primary one) but seldom sink to the level that big-budget performers can achieve. This one is weirdly charming but serves as a good bad example. |
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BAD TITLES: I disqualified albums that had truly horrific or badly conceived titles but not really awful covers. My favorite example is this howler. |
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NUDITY: There are waaaay too many covers that feature nude performers, most of which are just weird or sad rather than truly horrifying, so I eliminated this category. The one example that might deserve dishonorable mention is this unfortunate Prince cover. |
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BARBARIANS AND DOMINATRICES: Again, there are simply too many of these to pick a single one that is worst enough to be on the list. Here are three great examples out of dozens. |
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Now that you’ve seen what didn’t qualify, I hope you’re ready for the winners… |
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10. Born Again by Black Sabbath. Bad colors, cheap graphic, paint-on claws. Scary, yes, but not in the way they intended, I suspect. |
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9. No More Mr. Nice Guy by Pat Boone. Setting aside the fact that this racist homophobe was never really a nice guy, the leather gear and the weird eye glint earn this one a place of dishonor. |
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8. Bubbling Over by Dolly Parton. I love Dolly, but this was a colossal mistake. Scary floating head fountain? Which she seems to be enjoying (from a safe distance)? Nooo!! |
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7. Weasels Ripped My Flesh by the Mothers of Invention. Yes, I know this is inteded to lampoon 50s advertising images, but it’s just too visceral for me. |
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6. Satan Is Real by the Louvin Brothers. Is he? Not based on this picture. And dig the cheap TV preacher outfits! |
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5. Life In A Tin Can by the Bee Gees. This one belongs on the “worst titles” list, too. One question: Why did anyone pull the top off this can? |
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4. Live It Up by Crosby Stills & Nash. Forget the frying egg, kids. This is your brain on drugs. |
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3. Julie’s Sixteenth Birthday by John Bult. This is the one obscurity that I put on the list. It was just too creepy not to include. |
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2. Back to the S_ _t by Millie Jackson. This is the cover that Brad posted. He put it best, simply asking, “What was she thinking?” |
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1. Send In the Clowns by Sarah Vaughan. Another favorite artist making a terrible mistake. This one gives me nightmares. It’s also the only one on the list that was so bad the label replaced it on later releases. |
There you have it. It was fairly easy finding 25 or so covers. Once I filtered out the handful of broad categories, getting it to 10 wasn’t too hard. I’m sure I overlooked something, though. Feel free to comment with your favorites!
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